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  <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867</id>
  <title>Shadows In The Darkness</title>
  <subtitle>Pyrayton and Fiends</subtitle>
  <author>
    <name>svaenohr</name>
  </author>
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  <updated>2020-05-23T00:25:12Z</updated>
  <dw:journal username="svaenohr" type="personal"/>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:55274</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/55274.html"/>
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    <title>Nude</title>
    <published>2020-05-23T00:23:36Z</published>
    <updated>2020-05-23T00:25:12Z</updated>
    <category term="otherkin"/>
    <category term="pictures"/>
    <category term="about me"/>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">&lt;img src="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/file/447.jpg"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Picture is from Facebook. It was captioned "Decided to walk around in the nude. No body, no organs. Just pure energy."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In my life before this one, I was a shape-shifter capable of dropping my body behind to go hunt on the astral plane as a predator of negative entities, because my species needed spiritual sustenance as well as physical, and something was needed to keep the population of negative entities down, so my people evolved to fill the niche of preying on such entities. I saw this picture and thought "I remember when I could do that. I miss it. It was very liberating to just spread myself out like that, free from the constraints of the flesh. It felt a bit like a cross between a selkie returning to the sea after a week on land, and Odo letting himself turn into a puddle on the floor after work."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=55274" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:54879</id>
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    <title>Odd</title>
    <published>2017-11-24T08:26:56Z</published>
    <updated>2017-11-24T08:26:56Z</updated>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">I have just had the most peculiar desire to be able to turn myself inside out through the fourth dimension.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=54879" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:54629</id>
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    <title>Malevolent Moon</title>
    <published>2017-07-20T09:25:39Z</published>
    <updated>2017-07-20T09:25:39Z</updated>
    <category term="poem"/>
    <category term="poems"/>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">Inspired by a scene in "Down Among The Sticks and Bones" by &lt;span style='white-space: nowrap;'&gt;&lt;a href='https://seanan-mcguire.dreamwidth.org/profile'&gt;&lt;img src='https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png' alt='[personal profile] ' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href='https://seanan-mcguire.dreamwidth.org/'&gt;&lt;b&gt;seanan_mcguire&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Malevolent Moon&lt;br /&gt;By Pyrayton Svaenohr&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Malevolent moon, red burning eye&lt;br /&gt;Judging from within the sky&lt;br /&gt;Its looming presence so suffocating&lt;br /&gt;Fills your being full of hating&lt;br /&gt;It crowds the heavens like a festering sore&lt;br /&gt;Bleeding malice forevermore&lt;br /&gt;Across hot coals your soul it's raking,&lt;br /&gt;Its silent screams sanity's unmaking&lt;br /&gt;Abandon hope, ye who enter here&lt;br /&gt;For all you'll find is terror, fear&lt;br /&gt;No sign nor warning will ever suffice&lt;br /&gt;To balance the evil's power to entice&lt;br /&gt;Be sure, be sure, ere the threshold be cross't &lt;br /&gt;Lest thy soul be forever lost.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=54629" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:54443</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/54443.html"/>
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    <title>Bleh</title>
    <published>2016-08-15T03:45:16Z</published>
    <updated>2016-08-15T03:45:16Z</updated>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">This is what the heat does to me: I slept through most of the day, I did not wake up until 7 PM. I actually got plenty of sleep for once. But it is 8:40 now, and I already am tired enough that I wish to go back to bed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=54443" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:54203</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/54203.html"/>
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    <title>A poem and spell in one</title>
    <published>2016-08-15T03:16:14Z</published>
    <updated>2016-08-15T03:16:14Z</updated>
    <category term="magick"/>
    <category term="poetry"/>
    <category term="poem"/>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">"Summer, or 'An Aria of Death'"&lt;br /&gt;By = Pyrayton Svaenohr&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Eye of Sauron's bigger brother burns across the sky,&lt;br /&gt;People bow in worship though it makes us suffer, die.&lt;br /&gt;Its rays like lava acid lasers sizzling on my flesh,&lt;br /&gt;Its screaming radiation song an aria of death.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;From the sickness of its deadly heat, a kiln I live in now,&lt;br /&gt;Though I might be cooler as baking clay or barbequed as cow.&lt;br /&gt;Its sickness takes my strength away somewhere I cannot find,&lt;br /&gt;And a molasses river's sluggish flow could now outrun my mind.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I hiss and spit in angry rage and meaningless defiance,&lt;br /&gt;At this evil screaming firey eye, on which life is reliant.&lt;br /&gt;My hatred knows no bounds and my fury's come alive,&lt;br /&gt;I cannot wait for winter, the time that I thrive.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;For all the Westerosans speak of winter coming soon,&lt;br /&gt;If they saw this summer's sun, &lt;i&gt;then&lt;/i&gt; they would know doom.&lt;br /&gt;I wish to burrow underground, live in some nice cool cave,&lt;br /&gt;Instead I worry summer's heat will bring an early grave.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Damn-ed be the ones who glory in evil's light!&lt;br /&gt;With this verse I curse the sun and call forth the night!&lt;br /&gt;May the black clouds blot the sun and bring about the rain!&lt;br /&gt;May the cooling sky waters wash away my pain!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Curse-ed be the sunbathers, risking melanomal death!&lt;br /&gt;With this verse I curse the sun and call for night's cool breath!&lt;br /&gt;May the grey return unto this land and bring its rain so cool!&lt;br /&gt;May the summer sun begone for good, to curse some other fool!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=54203" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:53822</id>
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    <title>Death to the day star!</title>
    <published>2016-08-12T12:50:30Z</published>
    <updated>2016-08-12T12:50:30Z</updated>
    <category term="summer"/>
    <category term="my day"/>
    <category term="the sun"/>
    <dw:mood>aggravated</dw:mood>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">I am very frustrated lately. The burning death orb in the sky, with its rays like molten acid, pollutes the air with a miasma of devilish heat that causes my brain to go torpid. I am nocturnal, a creature of the dark and the cool. These things awaken me, while the heat is a sort of soporific. One would think I could simply shut the curtains and sleep in the day as I usually do. But no, it is not that simple by far. Because for me, sleep is extremely difficult under these conditions. The heat makes me sleepy, but unable to easily get to sleep, or stay asleep. Mainly because it is too hot to sleep without the fan, but the fan makes me too cold at the speed I need it. (I sleep with a cpap, and I cannot sleep with the noise it makes, so the fan must be on high to drown out the sound so I can sleep. Nothing else works.)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I have tried turning the fan away from me, it does not help. I have tried sleeping under sheets; this does not work because then I am still too cold under two of them. If I use a blanket, I become too hot again.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I have tried sleeping nude, tried sleeping with various kinds of clothes on, but it makes no difference. Either I sweat like mad, too hot to sleep, or I am too cold. There is no in between. And so, it takes forever to get to sleep. I fall asleep only when I am too exhausted to do otherwise.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And where I normally sleep six hours, go to the restroom, sleep another three hours or more, now I am up after six hours. Sometimes sooner. The other day, I had less than four hours sleep, was up for over twenty hours before going back to sleep.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Some days, I am forced to take sleeping aids. Preferably while the room is still cool, for otherwise the sleeping aids do not help either.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Winter cannot come fast enough. I would rather it were below freezing in my room, at least then I could be warm under many blankets, cook when I please, and bundle up. Or turn the heat to something reasonable, like 75. (I prefer no higher than 70 or 72 when awake, my sleeping body prefers 75, and no higher. It has been in the upper 80s and lower 90s lately.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So lately, if I could murder the sun, I would do so, and do it gladly. World be damned.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=53822" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:53582</id>
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    <title>That feel</title>
    <published>2016-08-12T11:18:06Z</published>
    <updated>2016-08-12T11:18:06Z</updated>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">That feel when you have a kink that appears to have no fics anywhere. :(&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Body invasion is the kink I speak of. Having a parasite or symbiote or the like, especially an alien one, in one's body, and getting off on that sensation. If it exists, it is very hard to find.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=53582" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:53402</id>
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    <title>I HUNGER FOR FLESH!!!</title>
    <published>2015-07-25T09:51:24Z</published>
    <updated>2015-07-25T09:51:24Z</updated>
    <category term="hunger"/>
    <category term="meat"/>
    <category term="being poor sucks"/>
    <dw:mood>hungry</dw:mood>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">*Growls* I am all but out of meat, and I have a week left in the month. All I have left is a couple raw chicken breasts (frozen), a can of tuna, and some salmon in cans I can do nothing with because I have no eggs. Out of money for food, and it is too fucking hot for cooking frozen chicken in the oven. This week is going to be very long for me.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=53402" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:53010</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/53010.html"/>
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    <title>Filth - a poem</title>
    <published>2015-07-06T21:31:24Z</published>
    <updated>2015-07-06T21:31:24Z</updated>
    <category term="writing"/>
    <category term="poems"/>
    <category term="poem"/>
    <category term="what i'm writing"/>
    <category term="creativity"/>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">“Filth”&lt;br /&gt;By = Pyrayton Svaenohr and Alexander Antonin (&lt;span style='white-space: nowrap;'&gt;&lt;a href='https://alex-antonin.dreamwidth.org/profile'&gt;&lt;img src='https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png' alt='[personal profile] ' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href='https://alex-antonin.dreamwidth.org/'&gt;&lt;b&gt;alex_antonin&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;From primordial slime grows things made of meat,&lt;br /&gt;Which quiver and shiver in cold and in heat;&lt;br /&gt;From its own filth, from Life's shit and rot,&lt;br /&gt;Life arises and suffers, then falls down to naught;&lt;br /&gt;Made of hot garbage, composed of decay,&lt;br /&gt;Life swims in its own filth all night and all day;&lt;br /&gt;Living things eat each other, tearing down bit by bit,&lt;br /&gt;Then Life turns around and eats its own shit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;From the time you're born until you decompose,&lt;br /&gt;Starvation and death are the least of your woes;&lt;br /&gt;There are parasites extant that will live in your eye,&lt;br /&gt;And care not if you're starving, or cold, or you cry;&lt;br /&gt;Or plagues that devour the flesh off your bones,&lt;br /&gt;Dooming you to a life of agonized moans;&lt;br /&gt;There are millions of horrors in store for you here,&lt;br /&gt;To make sure you have plenty of things for to fear.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So it's plain to me what all these facts spell:&lt;br /&gt;That Life on this Earth is &lt;i&gt;literally&lt;/i&gt; Hell;&lt;br /&gt;There is no God who cares for our plight,&lt;br /&gt;And darkness will always devour the light;&lt;br /&gt;No omnipotent savior who cries at our pain,&lt;br /&gt;No soul drives your meat, only sparks in your brain;&lt;br /&gt;Just Life born of refuse, of garbage, of spilth,&lt;br /&gt;Eating its own shit, made of its own filth.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=53010" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:52946</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/52946.html"/>
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    <title>“Capitalism Is Cannibalism” poem</title>
    <published>2015-06-20T03:58:00Z</published>
    <updated>2015-06-20T03:58:00Z</updated>
    <category term="capitalism"/>
    <category term="poems"/>
    <category term="poem"/>
    <category term="what i'm writing"/>
    <category term="capitalism sucks"/>
    <category term="creativity"/>
    <dw:mood>creative</dw:mood>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">“Capitalism Is Cannibalism”&lt;br /&gt;By = Pyrayton Svaenohr and &lt;span style='white-space: nowrap;'&gt;&lt;a href='https://alex-antonin.dreamwidth.org/profile'&gt;&lt;img src='https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png' alt='[personal profile] ' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href='https://alex-antonin.dreamwidth.org/'&gt;&lt;b&gt;alex_antonin&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Our empire is carved from the flesh of our brothers and sisters.&lt;br /&gt;Capitalism is colonialism, humanity carving itself into pieces.&lt;br /&gt;Capitalism is autophagia, humanity eating the pieces it has carved of itself.&lt;br /&gt;Capitalism is cannibalism, humans turned into meat to feed the system.&lt;br /&gt;The system gobbles us up, devouring our hearts and minds and bodies,&lt;br /&gt;And when we're all used up, it shits us out and we're left to fester in the sun.&lt;br /&gt;If you are not an easily wielded and useful tool, you're garbage to the system.&lt;br /&gt;Our elderly, our disabled, our down-on-their-luck, all are treated as shit:&lt;br /&gt;Walked around, stepped on, scraped up, washed away;&lt;br /&gt;A health hazard to be terminated with extreme prejudice.&lt;br /&gt;Not that most of the rest of us are treated much better.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Our empire is built on a foundation of torture.&lt;br /&gt;Colonized peoples terrorized, brutalized, slaughtered like animals in a factory farm,&lt;br /&gt;Experimented on against their will, blamed for all our own sins.&lt;br /&gt;Even now, their numbers whittled away in a continuing genocide,&lt;br /&gt;While you stick your head in the sand and pretend your finger is not on the trigger;&lt;br /&gt;While you hum to yourself and imagine you're not assisting the slaughter.&lt;br /&gt;You are a torture victim yourself, lost in comforting delusions,&lt;br /&gt;Delusions of a world where racism, sexism, and exploitation are relics of the past;&lt;br /&gt;A world where poverty is laziness, which means it can never happen to you;&lt;br /&gt;A world where there is no system; only people, only freedom,&lt;br /&gt;So you will not have to open your eyes to the ongoing atrocities all around you.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Our empire is built on a bedrock of exploitation.&lt;br /&gt;All that is inviolable is violated, plundered, packaged, and devoured.&lt;br /&gt;A lucky few are born into obscene wealth, swimming in piles of money,&lt;br /&gt;And claiming that it all came from their own hard work,&lt;br /&gt;When really, they stole it from other people's hard labor:&lt;br /&gt;From people working over 40 hours a week in 2 jobs but still can't afford food,&lt;br /&gt;From people working over food despite a flu because they can't afford sick days,&lt;br /&gt;From people bringing their kids to interviews because they can't afford child care,&lt;br /&gt;From people who are underpaid, screamed at by customers and bosses alike,&lt;br /&gt;Victims of literal wage theft, tip theft, or paid a pittance under the table,&lt;br /&gt;All so their employers can swim in a pile of stolen money.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Our empire is choking the life out of humanity.&lt;br /&gt;The system cannot work if individuality and freedom exist,&lt;br /&gt;So compliance is mandatory, resistance is futile; abnormality will not be tolerated.&lt;br /&gt;Work, consume, breed, and die; work, consume, breed, and die;&lt;br /&gt;You have all the potential of the cosmos, so why are you content to be a worker ant?&lt;br /&gt;Because you know no better - the system defined freedom &lt;i&gt;for&lt;/i&gt; you;&lt;br /&gt;We're bound, gagged, and fettered, but it's all we know, so it feels Right.&lt;br /&gt;It's all we know, so we inflict this torture on others, thinking we are doing Good.&lt;br /&gt;Even our own children, we torture the souls and minds right out of them,&lt;br /&gt;Our schools are prisons, the only thing they teach is mindless obedience;&lt;br /&gt;Capitalism is violence, and it is killing our future.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=52946" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:52688</id>
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    <title>The Flayed Men</title>
    <published>2015-04-29T14:40:51Z</published>
    <updated>2015-04-29T14:57:30Z</updated>
    <category term="poems"/>
    <category term="writing"/>
    <category term="racism"/>
    <category term="imperialism"/>
    <category term="creativity"/>
    <category term="poem"/>
    <category term="what i'm writing"/>
    <dw:mood>creative</dw:mood>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">“The Flayed Men”&lt;br /&gt;By = Pyrayton Svaenohr&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Flayed alive, the skinless monsters still breathe.&lt;br /&gt;Their every breath is agony, their screams directed inward,&lt;br /&gt;But their rage is directed outward.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Like a cancer they spread, claiming everything in reach.&lt;br /&gt;Eating The Mother to death, kidnapping and torturing their kin,&lt;br /&gt;Not thinking beyond what can give instant relief to their pain.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Genocide is a pleasant afternoon for these beasts.&lt;br /&gt;Having lost their own souls, they devour the souls of their kin,&lt;br /&gt;And the results are a travesty, a mockery of spirit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Lash out at them, and you may get them to release you.&lt;br /&gt;But do not point out the insanity of their ways, or they will tear you apart,&lt;br /&gt;And you will die knowing some small part of their agony.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I would pity them, but they flayed themselves.&lt;br /&gt;They have only themselves to blame for their condition.&lt;br /&gt;Which is the most pitiable thing of all.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There are a few who have regrown their skins,&lt;br /&gt;Regrown their souls, and are sane for a time, feeling empathy for their kin.&lt;br /&gt;The others will find them and re-flay them.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;They always do.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;~ ~ ~&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;File this under "all monsters are human." This poem is about European imperialism, and how it affects both white people and people of color. The imagery was inspired by a post in which some black Africans' reaction to seeing white people for the first time was to say "They have no skin!"&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=52688" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:52380</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/52380.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/data/atom/?itemid=52380"/>
    <title>Darkness To Darkness, Corpse to Corpse</title>
    <published>2015-04-26T03:38:45Z</published>
    <updated>2015-04-26T03:38:45Z</updated>
    <category term="poem"/>
    <category term="what i'm writing"/>
    <category term="memento mori"/>
    <category term="creativity"/>
    <category term="poems"/>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">“Darkness To Darkness, Corpse to Corpse”&lt;br /&gt;By = Pyrayton Svaenohr&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;From darkness we come, and to darkness we all return.&lt;br /&gt;Built bit by bit from the ashes of the dead&lt;br /&gt;and the corpses of plants and animals in the womb,&lt;br /&gt;We are then torn apart bit by bit by the living,&lt;br /&gt;by bacteria, animals, and plants, in the dark of the tomb.&lt;br /&gt;Once they were our meat and our bread,&lt;br /&gt;and we will be theirs one day in our turn.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=52380" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:52087</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/52087.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/data/atom/?itemid=52087"/>
    <title>True Monster, a poem</title>
    <published>2015-04-19T10:58:00Z</published>
    <updated>2015-04-19T11:01:39Z</updated>
    <category term="poems"/>
    <category term="creativity"/>
    <category term="poem"/>
    <category term="what i'm writing"/>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">“True Monster”&lt;br /&gt;By = Pyrayton Svaenohr&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I shove glass in my eyes for you,&lt;br /&gt;I dip my hands in lava for you.&lt;br /&gt;I open up to you, and you tell me to kill myself;&lt;br /&gt;I kill myself and you tell me life is precious.&lt;br /&gt;I try to roar in rage at you,&lt;br /&gt;And all that comes out is a squeak.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I am intimately familiar with Hell,&lt;br /&gt;Because I have known you.&lt;br /&gt;Your soul is like antifreeze to a cat;&lt;br /&gt;You are sweet to the taste, but you're poison.&lt;br /&gt;God blames The Devil for your creation,&lt;br /&gt;But The Devil won't accept the credit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;If the darkest Dark mated with the foulest evil,&lt;br /&gt;Their worst offspring would be cherubic compared to you.&lt;br /&gt;Azathoth and Cthulhu refuse to speak your name,&lt;br /&gt;Not even in hushed whispers in a fearful night.&lt;br /&gt;Even in a room full of the worst of humanity's worst,&lt;br /&gt;You would be the true monster.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=52087" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:51774</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/51774.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/data/atom/?itemid=51774"/>
    <title>Most people's response to saving the environment</title>
    <published>2015-04-06T12:06:45Z</published>
    <updated>2015-04-06T12:06:45Z</updated>
    <category term="creativity"/>
    <category term="poetry"/>
    <category term="what i'm writing"/>
    <category term="poem"/>
    <category term="poems"/>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">I could clean a highway, or plant a tree,&lt;br /&gt;Or protest a polluting factory,&lt;br /&gt;But I don't have time for all that swill,&lt;br /&gt;I've got shit to do on FarmVille.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=51774" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:51634</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/51634.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/data/atom/?itemid=51634"/>
    <title>Gemini poem</title>
    <published>2015-04-03T08:05:00Z</published>
    <updated>2015-04-03T08:05:00Z</updated>
    <category term="creativity"/>
    <category term="what i'm writing"/>
    <category term="poem"/>
    <category term="poetry"/>
    <category term="poems"/>
    <dw:mood>accomplished</dw:mood>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">“Gemini”&lt;br /&gt;By = Pyrayton Svaenohr&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I have poured out all my blood until dust wheezed from my veins.&lt;br /&gt;I have punctured my soul and drained all its tears until an ocean formed.&lt;br /&gt;I have screamed so loud the atmosphere ignited and burned the world to cinders.&lt;br /&gt;I have lived a million agonies until there was nothing left that could hurt me.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I could drown you in the ocean of my blood and tears.&lt;br /&gt;I could crucify you in Hell and think it insufficient.&lt;br /&gt;I could tear you apart and put you back together inside out.&lt;br /&gt;I could give you a million agonies until nothing else could hurt you.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Bound in chains of white-hot razor wire,&lt;br /&gt;Soulmates via the darkest magics.&lt;br /&gt;Two spirits stitched together like a human centipede,&lt;br /&gt;Forged in agony, breathing burning needles and battery acid.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=51634" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:51253</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/51253.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/data/atom/?itemid=51253"/>
    <title>The Universe Is a Poem</title>
    <published>2015-04-03T00:38:59Z</published>
    <updated>2015-04-03T00:38:59Z</updated>
    <category term="poetry"/>
    <category term="what i'm writing"/>
    <category term="poem"/>
    <category term="creativity"/>
    <category term="poems"/>
    <dw:mood>accomplished</dw:mood>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">“The Universe Is A Poem”&lt;br /&gt;By = Pyrayton Svaenohr&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The universe is a poem of unknowable complexity and size;&lt;br /&gt;We see very little of it with our ears and nose and eyes.&lt;br /&gt;We are deaf and blind and noseless in an eternal abyss,&lt;br /&gt;We would need 1000 senses just to guess something amiss.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;We do not hear the chorus in the heavens all around,&lt;br /&gt;The music of the stars as they sing their song unbound.&lt;br /&gt;Nor the planets as they add their own bits to the symphony,&lt;br /&gt;We are deaf and blind and noseless in a vast eternity.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;We are as dust mites on the skin of men within a world&lt;br /&gt;Where giants walk among them, mountains getting hurled&lt;br /&gt;In wars even &lt;i&gt;they&lt;/i&gt; can't fathom, so how in Hell could we?&lt;br /&gt;And we quibble over silly things like land, ideas, money.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Yet if, somehow, these giants vast cared for us at all,&lt;br /&gt;And tried to speak to us, would we understand their call?&lt;br /&gt;Perhaps the sun screams into the abyss with a roar of plasma fire,&lt;br /&gt;And we pretend there’s nothing amiss, and ignore the warnings dire?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;They are great and vast and old, these giants out in space,&lt;br /&gt;And all we are is talking meat in a meaningless rat race.&lt;br /&gt;The universe, it does not care, we are of no importance.&lt;br /&gt;No matter what we do, the giants continue their dance.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=51253" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:51072</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/51072.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/data/atom/?itemid=51072"/>
    <title>"The Snake Inside" - A poem about anxiety</title>
    <published>2015-02-18T16:02:39Z</published>
    <updated>2015-02-18T16:02:39Z</updated>
    <category term="poetry"/>
    <category term="poem"/>
    <category term="creativity"/>
    <category term="anxiety"/>
    <category term="mental issues"/>
    <category term="poems"/>
    <dw:music>Clan of Xymox - Emily</dw:music>
    <dw:mood>anxious</dw:mood>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">“The Snake Inside”&lt;br /&gt;By = Pyrayton Svaenohr&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There is a snake in my belly, a tightly coiled knot.&lt;br /&gt;It eats me from within, out of fear.&lt;br /&gt;I have carried this snake inside me for decades,&lt;br /&gt;And have gotten used to its presence,&lt;br /&gt;But of late, it has become more active,&lt;br /&gt;More afraid, more venomous,&lt;br /&gt;For reasons unknown to me.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I try to calm it down, to make it relax,&lt;br /&gt;So it will not eat my insides,&lt;br /&gt;But that just frightens it more and more,&lt;br /&gt;Until the beast starts climbing up my throat,&lt;br /&gt;Constricting my heart and lungs,&lt;br /&gt;Burning my esophagus,&lt;br /&gt;Its head a lump in my throat,&lt;br /&gt;Its venom tearing through my body.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The snake inside me writhes,&lt;br /&gt;And I wish I could call animal control,&lt;br /&gt;Or speak parseltongue,&lt;br /&gt;To whisper peace into its soul,&lt;br /&gt;Into my own soul,&lt;br /&gt;Into our soul.&lt;br /&gt;Until then, we writhe in anxiety.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=51072" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:50921</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/50921.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/data/atom/?itemid=50921"/>
    <title>Rise</title>
    <published>2015-02-03T15:40:46Z</published>
    <updated>2015-02-03T15:40:46Z</updated>
    <category term="poems"/>
    <category term="what i'm writing"/>
    <category term="poem"/>
    <category term="creativity"/>
    <dw:mood>cheerful</dw:mood>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">"Rise"&lt;br /&gt;By = Pyrayton Svaenohr&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I wish to live a life so bold, that none would dare to hurt me,&lt;br /&gt;To make you fear that before I grew cold, my soul would rise to eat thee!&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; A malignant spirit tearing muscle and skin,&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; Covered in gore, with a murderous grin,&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; Howling into the sky at night,&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; All who hear it fleeing in fright!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I wish to live a life so grand, that upon the day I die,&lt;br /&gt;Men, women, and children in every land would wail, scream, and cry.&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; A maleficent specter swooping down from the skies,&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; Causing unending nightmares of burning red eyes,&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; A giant red skull trailing fires from Hell,&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; No magic can save you, not a single true spell!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I wish to live a life so free, that all would envy my might,&lt;br /&gt;Wishing they could join my spree, and - like me - take flight.&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; Malicious ghouls cackling with glee,&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; Every one of us utterly free!&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; A future land where all that crawls, swims, or flies,&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; Will live in terror of the haunted night skies!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I wish to live a life so dire, that it would end the human race,&lt;br /&gt;All your souls consumed in fire, terror frozen on your face!&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; And the only thing sentient left on the land,&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; Are animals fleeing what they can't understand.&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; Will you join me in my escape to the skies?&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; &amp;nbsp; Will you join me when, dead, I rise?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=50921" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:50567</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/50567.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/data/atom/?itemid=50567"/>
    <title>Homophobia poem</title>
    <published>2015-02-03T13:51:06Z</published>
    <updated>2015-02-03T13:51:06Z</updated>
    <category term="creativity"/>
    <category term="hate crimes"/>
    <category term="what i'm writing"/>
    <category term="poem"/>
    <category term="poetry"/>
    <category term="poems"/>
    <category term="homophobia"/>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">Homophobia. Such an unassuming word, a TARDIS of letters.&lt;br /&gt;A word used to make their deeds seem a bit better.&lt;br /&gt;An abuse of language that adds to the crime.&lt;br /&gt;A self-serving, self-righteous waste of good breath.&lt;br /&gt;I have caulrophobia, but I've never beat a clown to death.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=50567" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:50312</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/50312.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/data/atom/?itemid=50312"/>
    <title>“Incunabula Of Phantasmagoria” poem by me</title>
    <published>2015-01-01T13:47:48Z</published>
    <updated>2015-01-01T13:47:48Z</updated>
    <category term="writing"/>
    <category term="poems"/>
    <category term="what i'm writing"/>
    <category term="poem"/>
    <category term="creativity"/>
    <dw:mood>cranky</dw:mood>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">“Incunabula Of Phantasmagoria”&lt;br /&gt;By = Pyrayton Svaenohr&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In ancient eons gone and past,&lt;br /&gt;There was born within the void&lt;br /&gt;A creature terrible and vast&lt;br /&gt;That stars wished to avoid.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It ate dwarf stars for breakfast,&lt;br /&gt;And giant blues for lunch.&lt;br /&gt;At dinnertime it found black holes&lt;br /&gt;Upon which it would munch.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Virgo Supercluster&lt;br /&gt;Is like a forest to this beast,&lt;br /&gt;But the Milky Way galaxy&lt;br /&gt;Is where it once did feast.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And though it eats &lt;i&gt;most&lt;/i&gt; stars,&lt;br /&gt;A few it spares by need,&lt;br /&gt;For it seeks out M class worlds&lt;br /&gt;With life, so it can breed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It scoured the void for eons,&lt;br /&gt;Looking where it could,&lt;br /&gt;Until it found one planet&lt;br /&gt;That looked like it was good.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It laid some eggs on Earth,&lt;br /&gt;But before it could depart,&lt;br /&gt;Something happened to them,&lt;br /&gt;Which broke the creature's heart.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Debris from space wiped out its nest,&lt;br /&gt;So it was forced to wait;&lt;br /&gt;Luckily for this sky beast,&lt;br /&gt;Patience is its finest trait.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Then one day it woke up,&lt;br /&gt;And saw its nest once more secure.&lt;br /&gt;It laid its eggs upon the earth,&lt;br /&gt;But watched it, to be sure.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Its eggs must incubate for centuries,&lt;br /&gt;Thus in us they set up shop.&lt;br /&gt;And now they jump between us&lt;br /&gt;Whenever dead we drop.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And one day in the future,&lt;br /&gt;If Mother gets her way,&lt;br /&gt;All of us will hatch,&lt;br /&gt;And our flesh will fall away.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;We incubators of flesh and bone&lt;br /&gt;Will explode in bloody showers,&lt;br /&gt;And the Earth will burn to cinders&lt;br /&gt;In just a few short hours.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Expanding, we will roar,&lt;br /&gt;To our final form assemble;&lt;br /&gt;And as we tear a hole in spacetime,&lt;br /&gt;The universe shall tremble!&lt;br /&gt;And we shall be forevermore&lt;br /&gt;A plague upon the 'verse!&lt;br /&gt;So don't you think that maybe we&lt;br /&gt;Should use &lt;b&gt;&lt;i&gt;THIS&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/b&gt; life to rehearse?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=50312" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:50089</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/50089.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/data/atom/?itemid=50089"/>
    <title>"The Two Elements" a poem by me</title>
    <published>2015-01-01T12:18:52Z</published>
    <updated>2015-01-01T12:18:52Z</updated>
    <category term="creativity"/>
    <category term="what i'm writing"/>
    <category term="poem"/>
    <category term="poems"/>
    <category term="writing"/>
    <dw:mood>creative</dw:mood>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">“The Two Elements”&lt;br /&gt;By = Pyrayton Svaenohr&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Four elements,” say some,&lt;br /&gt;“Five!” says another.&lt;br /&gt;“Thirty-seven” says my father,&lt;br /&gt;“One hundred eighteen” says my mother.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Water, Earth, Air, and Fire,&lt;br /&gt;Or Spirit gives you a fifth.&lt;br /&gt;“Wood, Fire, Metal, Earth, and Water,” say others,&lt;br /&gt;“Anything else is just a myth.”&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Scientists point to atoms&lt;br /&gt;To compile their element list,&lt;br /&gt;But what of all the smaller parts?&lt;br /&gt;Is there something they've all missed?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I look into the sky at night,&lt;br /&gt;And matter at the smallest scale,&lt;br /&gt;And wonder if they all are wrong,&lt;br /&gt;If all these guesses fail.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;What if the only elements&lt;br /&gt;That the universe employed&lt;br /&gt;Were simply numbered one and two,&lt;br /&gt;Named “Energy” and “Void”?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Take a mass of Void foundation,&lt;br /&gt;Upon which stretched a skin, you see,&lt;br /&gt;Of spacetime and the universe,&lt;br /&gt;All made up of Energy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Everything that we can see,&lt;br /&gt;And all the things we can't&lt;br /&gt;Can be boiled down to those two things,&lt;br /&gt;From galaxy to ant.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So look into the massive sky,&lt;br /&gt;And deep within your soul;&lt;br /&gt;For you need both Energy and Void&lt;br /&gt;To exist, and to be whole.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=50089" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:49906</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/49906.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/data/atom/?itemid=49906"/>
    <title>“Skin Deep,” a porn story</title>
    <published>2014-11-30T21:33:34Z</published>
    <updated>2014-12-01T03:34:11Z</updated>
    <category term="porn"/>
    <category term="otherkin"/>
    <category term="body invasion"/>
    <category term="monster fandom"/>
    <category term="stories"/>
    <dw:mood>horny</dw:mood>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">Warnings: Body invasion, body horror, horror, sex with a monster.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;“Skin Deep”&lt;br /&gt;by = Pyrayton Svaenohr&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Author's note: I began this story intending it to be much shorter, to end after the reveal, but I, er... got carried away. I hope you enjoy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;*&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;She was beautiful. Her skin was silky smooth, her hair a shiny and perfect black, in flowing locks. Her dazzling hazel eyes pierced your soul, and her lips were pouty without overdoing it. Having gotten to know her online before knowing what she looked like, I was glad; for truly, her beauty would have rendered me mute. It rendered me mute now, but since we'd agreed to meet here, she laughed - a sound like tinkling wind chimes - and spoke to me, shaking me out of my muteness.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;On our third date, she was distracted all night, and seemed worried. "What's wrong?" I asked her.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;She bit her lip, looking around. "I can't say. You won't understand."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"I'm very open minded," I told her. "Not a lot can shock me."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;She nodded. "Yes, I know, from the months we've been IM'ing. But still I worry this is too much."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"Try me."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"I'm scared."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"Yes, but if it's important, I'll find out eventually. Better to get it over with now, and know for sure, than worry for however long."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;She laughed again. "True. Okay, here goes: I'm not human."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"Yes, you told me you're Otherkin. So am I."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"No, it's not that. I'm really not human. I know it sounds crazy, but I can prove it. I'm just worried you'll panic if I show you."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I was intrigued now. I had looked into her eyes, and she was telling the truth. "Maybe if you gave me some idea what to expect, that would help."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"Well, to be honest... it's not a simple thing. You see, I'm a monster, and I hunt humans. I was hunting you when we first met online, and I would have suggested we meet sooner than we are now, if you hadn't mentioned being Otherkin, and explained it. Hearing that, I began to have hope that I didn't have to be alone. I decided to spare you, no matter how this turns out. But I worry, of course. I fear rejection. I've never had a lover before. My kind... we are hermaphrodites, and we fertilize our own eggs."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span class="cut-wrapper"&gt;&lt;span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___1" class="cuttag"&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;b class="cut-open"&gt;(&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-text"&gt;&lt;a href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/49906.html#cutid1"&gt;Rest is under the cut&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b class="cut-close"&gt;&amp;nbsp;)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___1" aria-live="assertive"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=49906" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:49602</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/49602.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/data/atom/?itemid=49602"/>
    <title>Playing with gender</title>
    <published>2014-11-26T09:22:11Z</published>
    <updated>2014-11-26T09:22:11Z</updated>
    <category term="accents"/>
    <category term="language"/>
    <category term="about me"/>
    <category term="multiplicity"/>
    <category term="gender issues"/>
    <category term="agender"/>
    <dw:mood>curious</dw:mood>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">I identify as agender, for many reasons, but in my head and also when I speak aloud, I generally default to a low, deep register that sounds stereotypically masculine, and has a somewhat masculine energy to it. But not always; the register can and often does shift around at random through the day.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;However, the other day I started playing around with my atman's* form, shifting the register around on purpose. I had a lot of fun with a feminine register, especially doing things in my feminine form that I normally do in my more masculine form, like lifting heavy objects and making bestial sounds. I have discovered that I am actually slightly stronger, in terms of physical strength, in my feminine form than in my masculine form, which surprised me.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Why is this surprising to me? Background: I am one member of a Multiple collective with 8 other people, and 7 of those are either female or feminine non-binaries. The eighth person is a masculine non-binary (who uses he/him/his pronouns). He and I have always been physically stronger than the others. There was a theory for a long time that this enhanced strength was due to our masculine leanings. (Not our theory; theirs.) Well I seem to have disproven that theory, since my feminine form is stronger than my masculine form.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Something else I found interesting is how much of my accent carries over to my feminine form. Obviously you have never heard my accent when I speak - both internally and aloud - and I have a hard time explaining it. If I had a working microphone, I could record the accent for you. But I &lt;i&gt;can&lt;/i&gt; say that my accent sounds vaguely Slavic, almost Russian. I do not know what accent it is supposed to be. There are certain pronunciation patterns that are reasonably consistent when I speak, which I have been unable to pin down to any accent I can identify. For instance, "but" I pronounce "boat." "Certain" sounds like "sare-ten" (rhymes with "hare ten"). "Not" is said like "note" unless I am concentrating on slimming the accent. "Head" I say as "hayed," "in" is said "een," "also" is said "ohl-so," and "register" is said "ray-jay-stir."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So take the sentence "I identify as agender, for many reasons, but in my head and also when I speak aloud, I generally default to a low, deep register that sounds stereotypically masculine, and has a somewhat masculine energy to it," and write it out in my accent:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;"I identeefy aaz a-jendare, for many ree-zones, boat een my hayed aand ohlso wayn I speak a-loud, I genoralee defoalt to a low, deep ray-jay-stair thaat sounds stair-ee-oh-teep-eek-lee mosque-oo-lin, aand haaz a soam-watt mosque-oo-lin ain-er-&lt;a href="http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%CA%92"&gt;ʒ&lt;/a&gt;ee to eet."&lt;br /&gt;(Places where the "a" is seperated from the rest, like in "a-jendare," is the A saying its name. And the "oo" in "mosque-oo-lin" rhymes with "you," "true," and "do." The ʒ character sounds like the S in "pleasure," "leisure," and "treasure.")&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It is not always quite that thick, (I do not always pronounce "it" like "eet," for instance) but it is always close.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But yes, despite a higher, more feminine register, my accent in feminine form is basically the same as in my masculine form.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;* = Atman is Hindi for "soul," but I use it to refer to my concept of my body, my mental/spiritual form.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=49602" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:49288</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/49288.html"/>
    <link rel="self" type="text/xml" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/data/atom/?itemid=49288"/>
    <title>Prejudice and immortality</title>
    <published>2014-11-21T11:56:38Z</published>
    <updated>2014-11-21T11:56:38Z</updated>
    <category term="immortality"/>
    <category term="thought of the day"/>
    <category term="sexism"/>
    <category term="thoughts"/>
    <category term="racism"/>
    <dw:mood>annoyed</dw:mood>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">I shall never understand being prejudiced against someone for the physical appearance of their meatsuit, for the coloration and shape of the meat their spirit controls. What does it matter if their meat suit is brown and yours is peach? What does it matter if their meat suit has narrower eyes than yours? How does it impact your life if their hair is coarser than yours? We are all made of meat, we are all going to die some day, and all that will remain of us will be skeletons, decaying meat, and the memories of us in the heads of those who still live. And if that is all we leave behind, would you rather be remembered as a kind, compassionate soul who was nice to people of all meatsuit varieties, or would you rather be remembered as an insufferable racist fuckbrain that pissed people off?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And for those of us who are not full KKK bigoted, but still have some small racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, etc tendencies that have infected our brains like the memetic viruses they are, would you rather take the small amount of effort to attempt to purge those viruses from your mind in order to be remembered more fondly by more people, or would you rather take personal offense at every attempt to point out your memetic ailment and thus make yourself look like an insufferable fuckbrain?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Or does it not matter to you? Perhaps to you, any remembrance past death is fine by you, even if you are immortalized in people's minds as a horrible person? I can see the appeal... people do talk about Hitler and Stalin more than they talk of MLK. But think on this: the more people are horrible, the less impressive it gets, until everyone is horrible and you no longer stand out in the crowd, and you are forgotten.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But if you do care to be remembered positively, maybe you have a better shot at immortality. People tend to remember those who left a positive impression on the world more, and they remember more names of such people. Even if everyone in the world becomes good, the names of the good, of people who helped make the world better, will still be remembered. Utopia can come, and people will still talk of the pioneers of peace. But if everyone turns out horrible some day, who will remember the pioneers of hatred? Those names will get lost in the morass.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;If your fire burns only so long, why not use it to warm the cold and cook for the hungry, rather than for burning down buildings and setting people on fire?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=49288" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>tag:dreamwidth.org,2012-01-14:1422867:48964</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://svaenohr.dreamwidth.org/48964.html"/>
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    <title>Wow</title>
    <published>2014-11-20T01:19:51Z</published>
    <updated>2014-11-20T01:26:00Z</updated>
    <category term="what i'm writing"/>
    <category term="stories"/>
    <category term="creativity"/>
    <category term="pictures"/>
    <dw:mood>accomplished</dw:mood>
    <dw:security>public</dw:security>
    <dw:reply-count>0</dw:reply-count>
    <content type="html">Saw this image on Tumblr, it inspired me to write a story:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://33.media.tumblr.com/f853287964d19467be7c8484bd0ee2c6/tumblr_nf9ktcnmgN1r2w0dio1_500.jpg"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The universe was in danger, in danger of being eaten by a powerful evil force. So all the galaxies in the universe condensed themselves down into a human form by folding space. The human universe sat, cold and lonely on a rogue planet for centuries, waiting for the danger to pass. Then one day, Xe knew Xe was safe. In one glorious burst of light, followed by a continuous and less intense light, the galaxies poured out of their human shell and back into spacetime. But their human form was still alive, and still lonely. So the galaxies reached down from the heavens and touched xir head. From the place they touched sprang forth life onto the planet, which was now orbiting a sun. And before long, there were other humans on the planet, and the vessel of the universe was no longer lonely. Xe died decades later, xer children and grandchildren watching over xer. And so the human vessel of the universe died happy, returning to the universe from whence xe came.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;[&lt;a href="http://svaenohr.tumblr.com/post/103083730993/flmrkt-mystic-revelations-take-me-away-by"&gt;Original post&lt;/a&gt;]&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=svaenohr&amp;ditemid=48964" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/&gt; comments</content>
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